Enlistment for the Week

This week's recruit is Hugo Santos. Greetings, Hugo, and welcome to the Deadbox Puppet Army. As for the rest of you slackers--wassup? Where else can you be a crucial cog in a scheme for world paintball domination? (Uh, nowhere is the correct answer. Nowhere else can you be a crucial cog in the scheme for world paintball domination.) Cut loose.