Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Cut From the National Enquirer

With no thought of his own safety Tampa Bay Damage paintball player Ramzi El-Yousef risked life & limb to rescue a bizarre two-headed baby from a burning car last week. Unfortunately he was injured (broken hand) while making the heroic rescue and will be unable to compete in the upcoming PSP Chitown Open. El-Yousef was overheard asking paramedics on the scene, "Did the evil baby head bite me? I think it bit me. Look how swollen my hand is. That's not normal is it?"
Initial reports indicate the baby (babies?) was driving and an argument between the two heads precipitated the crash. It's being presumed accidental for the time being according to a highway patrol spokesman.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

I take it you're back on the Julio & painkillers? Wanna share?

Anonymous said...

At least its possitive press for paintball.. That a boy Ramzi...Wounder if the baby(ies) could play the snake... looks like a reffing nightmare.. oh well time to step up...
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Anonymous said...

Baca said,
So maybe I embellished a little bit. The baby didn't have two heads. D'oh! And it wasn't the driver.
Other than that it's mostly true. Rums is out and has a big old cast covering up what was at first an enormously swollen hand.

Mike said...

hahahahahaha. So great.

Who's filling in? And is Jason Edwards playing?

Don Saavedra said...

Is the 2 headed baby taking his spot? If so, can a two-headed player use 2 guns?

Anonymous said...

Baca said,
Hey Mike, Jason is playing. Roster will be finalized on site.

Don, the bigger issue is can one player have two goggles?

Robert said...

Faces have to be protected so I would think 2 masks. But would they count as 1 player or 2 players? Probably 1 since they share a body. Good thing for the opposing team... 2 kills with 1 shot!