Wednesday, December 3, 2008

One More Cynical VFTD Game

In order to encourage more participation this cynical VFTD game will be multiple choice and the results will be graded on a curve. There will be no wrong answers, only those that are less right. So if your self-esteem is a quivering mass of jelly have no fear, VFTD is here to help you. In addition to providing no "wrong" answers from which to choose there will be a completely random and totally unreliable guide offering scientific insight into your character based on a strictly limited data sampling of, er, one.
At the end of the voting period VFTD will tally the votes and whichever answer receives the most votes will be declared the winner -- and the correct answer. Facts are for losers.

QUESTION: What happens to the NPPL name and brand?

Answer A: Jerry Braun & Steve Davidson decide to go halfsies to see if the dream can be revived.

Answer B: Chuck Hendsch scoops it up for old times sake and puts out a press release announcing a league for the players, by the players.

Answer C: a group of disaffected woodsball teams join forces in order to break away from the hegemony of greedy promoters and start their own league.

Answer D: under cover of darkness a covert team of spec ops mercenaries grabs everything with a NPPL logo and disappears into the night. The following day Smart Parts announces it now holds the rights to the NPPL.

Answer E: a guy named Spackle from Akron Ohio accidentally bids on the NPPL mistaking it for new-fangled milking equipment for dairies.

Answer F: a mysterious auto dealer from Canukistan outbids everyone and immediately announces a pro 7-man circuit to be held at the grand openings of his newest dealerships.

Answer G: the PSP buys it and renames the NXL and every written record of the term "xball" is excised permanently (as is the jumbo X.)
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Check here to see what your answer tells the world about you. If you chose:
A) You have sadomasochistic tendencies and an unhealthy fixation on rubber and riding crops.

B) You have trouble holding a job and the one person you would most like to meet is The King, from the Burger King commercials.

C) Congratulations, you are Joe Normal. You drive a rusted out Camaro, have a mullet and keep a wad of Griz between cheek and gum. Wednesday is your favorite day because it's bowling night.

D) You are a conspiracy wacko. Welcome to the club! I'll show you the secret handshake later.

E) You enjoy an alternate identity as a cross-dresser named Olga and your favorite TV show is 'The Dog Whisperer.'

F) You are an idealist doomed to disappointment as you struggle to come to grips with reality.

G) You are a drone of conformity regurgitating the conventional wisdom.

4 comments:

Chris said...

Or a better conspiracy theory - NPPL ownership, heavily burdened with debt files for bankruptcy with a fire sale on any of its assets.

Paintball.com is sold to the highest bidder (action village?) for $1mil.

NPPL is sold to the highest bidder. Which just happens to be the PSP (who else would buy it?), who will rebrand their pro league as the NPPL as you suggest.

Now that Friedman is revealed of his debt obligation to the bank he steps back in and fulfills the role of shopping the league around to big money advertisers.

The new NPPL pro league run by the PSP renews its TV efforts, instituting a franchise system, funded by the new advertisers. Buys up airtime, produces a show, that is a complete flop.

Meanwhile, Sean Walker, in co-horts with the makers of the Legend gun decide to start their own league and make a big festival out of it. Players in the NPPL grow disastified that they are not allowed to play in the Shawn Walkers Legend League (SWELL for short, the E stands for "nothing") and ditch the NPPL for the new league and all the shiny mirrors and fog machines.

Eventually SWELL runs out of money and sells itself to a lunatic investor with way to much capital leverage.

Cycle repeats as the economy re-tanks in 2012.

Anonymous said...

But then the world ends in 2012 according to the mayans

AZTEC WARRIOR said...

or until there calendar gets restarted kinda like 99-2000 btw Nostrodamus predicted the world would end in 2300th something...

Hippo said...

The answer is D.

If there's one thing the paintball world can count on, it's things going down in secrecy followed by a Smart Parts announcement.

I don't mean anything good or bad by that...just that we're due for another one.